In my experience, the most frustrating aspect of caring for a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder has been waiting for her to choose to heal, if she is capable of doing so.

The consequences that caregivers and family members experience during the process of waiting are unfathomable every step of the way.

A child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder can't be forced to heal. 

There's no magic formula that caregivers can follow to make them do so.

Healing is a choice that only the child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder can make.

Until the choice is made, caregivers and family members suffer greatly.

The Most Frustrating Aspect of Reactive Attachment Disorder

Last week we received a notice from our insurance company that they are only willing to cover the next 30 days of Sunshine's residential treatment, instead of the requested 60 days.

I instantly panicked. 

Sunshine has been in her fifth residential placement for fourteen months and shown absolutely no improvement.

She continues to be unsafe and unable to live with family.

At the same time Sunshine is comfortable with who she is and how she responds to the world around her. 

There are no signs of her wanting to change her behaviors any time soon.

This puts our family in quite the predicament.

Caregivers of children in residential can be charged with abandonment if they don't pick up their kids when insurance companies refuse further treatment, even when it's too dangerous for the family to have the child in the home.

Bringing a dangerous child home from treatment to a family because insurance refuses further treatment can result in caregivers being charged with endangering the welfare of their other children. 

It's a no win situation.

This predicament occurred in years past while Sunshine was receiving treatment.  You can read more about it in the post below.

The System Failed Us Horribly

We pray that Sunshine's residential treatment continues until she is safe to live with family again.

If it doesn't, the safety of our family is in jeopardy.

Everyone on her residential team believes that she is capable of changing her behaviors.

We believe she is capable of safe and healthy relationships with others.

Unfortunately, she does not want to do the work that's necessary to have that at this time.

Every child and teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder is different.

Princess has made great strides in healing, but has currently been "stuck," unwilling to progress in specific areas of her own journey for quite a long time. 

Please note, being "stuck" does not negate all of her hard work and progress. 

She has come so very far!

Unfortunately, her unwillingness to progress in her own healing has resulted in siblings and caregivers being on the receiving end of significant highs and lows in moods, which can include verbal aggressions towards herself and family members, as well as destruction of property.

We, as her caregivers, have tried to do everything we possibly can to help her move forward.

Despite our best efforts she has verbally expressed that she does not want to change.

She is perfectly fine the way she is.

And so, caregivers and siblings continue to be on the receiving end of unhealthy behaviors on a regular basis.

Why Doesn't a Child or Teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder Want to Heal?

To heal from Reactive Attachment Disorder means to attach and to trust.

Attachment is scary.

Trust is unconceivable.

Remaining unattached is comfortable. 

It feels natural.

Even when a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder despises their own behaviors and starts to feel remorse, this doesn't mean that it feels worth it to attempt attachment.

When a child or teen has Reactive Attachment Disorder, it means the brain has changed to survive trauma. 

Healing means the brain needs to change again through a process called neuroplasticity. 

This is incredibly hard work that takes so much effort on behalf of the child or teen.

In many cases healing feels too hard. It's easier to give up.

The Reactive Attachment Disordered brain settles for what's comfortable, accepting the consequences that come with that.

There are cases in which some believe that the brain isn't capable of neuroplasticity and therefore healing from Reactive Attachment Disorder isn't possible. 

In Princess' case, she still feels she needs to respond to situations in extreme ways, in order to protect herself from threats that don't exist anymore. 

Parts of her feel that her extreme emotional responses to situations are an exception to the rule without consequence.

Why Won't a Child or Teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder Accept Help During the Healing Process?

It's one thing not to want to heal because it's too scary or too hard, but even when a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder has a desire to heal, in many cases she doesn't want help with that process.

Accepting help from others means she needs to trust others, which isn't natural or easy.

She wants to do things the way she wants to do them.

A child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder often bucks at help, choosing to do the exact opposite of what a caregiver or professional recommends.

It's as if she has to figure out her own way of getting from Point A to Point B, in the most chaotic way, to prove that the recommended way doesn't work, or isn't possible.

Offering extra love and support only triggers Reactive Attachment Disorder behaviors more.

Love and trust go hand in hand, and that's too scary.

The child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder has to be the one to choose to heal and believe it's worth it to do so.

There's always a possibility that trauma returns, and a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder may not want to risk becoming vulnerable in the future, as it feels unsafe to them.

What Does Healing from Reactive Attachment Disorder Look Like?

In our experience, healing from Reactive Attachment Disorder comes in seven distinct phases.

The 7 Stages of Healing from Reactive Attachment Disorder

Every child and teen is different which means there's no time limit or guesstimate on how long it takes to work through each phase.

Healing depends on so many different factors.

A child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder may have multiple diagnoses, some of which affect cognitive functioning and development.

The child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder may still be experiencing trauma.

Then there's the fact that a child or teen with RAD may not want to heal.

Every case is different.

Waiting for healing can be so incredibly frustrating for caregivers of children and teens with Reactive Attachment Disorder, especially when behaviors jeopardize the safety of family members.

Know that you are not alone in your frustration.

What Can Caregivers Do While Waiting for a Child or Teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder to Heal?

There are multiple ways caregivers can approach the waiting game.

1. Keep everyone in the family safe.

Must Have Safety Resources When Parenting a Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder

The caregiver will be held responsible for whatever is going on in the home.

Protect yourself.

2. Seek outside support and services when necessary.

Don't hesitate to ask for help in all settings. Most likely you will be judged, but in the end, the documentation that comes with you seeking help can save your family.

Outside support and services can include:

• Case Management
• Therapies
• Doctors and Specialists
• Respite Services
• Day Programs
• Inpatient Psychiatry Stays
• Residential Treatment

3. Find support from others who are experiencing what you're going through.

This journey is not one you can manage all by yourself. You will need support ensure you're not going insane.

Consider following me over at Every Star Is Different on Facebook as we share personal stories almost daily about our experiences while raising 2 adopted daughters with Reactive Attachment Disorder.

 4. Educate yourself on Reactive Attachment Disorder.

A great place to start is our Reactive Attachment Disorder landing page. 

It includes links to all resources on our website related to Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Raising a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder is the hardest thing I've ever done, and most likely will be just as difficult for you.

It is incredibly important to set safe boundaries while you wait for your child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder to heal.

Don't hesitate to seek help and support to protect your family.

If healing is possible, it will occur at the pace the child or teen wants to and is capable of setting.

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like the resources below.

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The 7 Stages of Healing from Reactive Attachment Disorder

How does someone heal from Reactive Attachment Disorder? 

What does healing look like?

Are there different stages in healing from Reactive Attachment Disorder?

I am thrilled to share the 7 Stages of Healing from Reactive Attachment Disorder that we have identified and experienced in our home.

My oldest adopted daughter has suffered from Reactive Attachment Disorder her entire life.

Her story is one of bravery, healing, and hard work.

She has been so kind to share her experiences in hopes that she can help others.

Through her own healing process, she has been able to identify the 7 stages of healing she has gone through and continues to work through.

We have seen these exact same stages of healing occur with her younger sister (also adopted with RAD) in residential treatment.

Before we begin discussing the 7 Stages of Healing from Reactive Attachment Disorder, I want to remind everyone that healing from Reactive Attachment Disorder is a choice.

It is a choice that can only be made by the person with Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Healing can not be forced by caregivers and professionals.

Once the choice to heal is made, so much hard work goes into rewiring the brain at each and every stage of the process.

Waiting for child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder to decide to heal or progress with healing can be extremely frustrating.

You can read more about that in the resource below.

The Most Frustrating Aspect of Reactive Attachment Disorder

Please know there is no cure for Reactive Attachment Disorder.

The healing process helps the individual with Reactive Attachment Disorder form attachments and healthy relationships, but it doesn't remove the process of having to work through triggers on a regular basis.

There is no perfect treatment for Reactive Attachment Disorder outside of the home that will fix everything. 

For more information regarding treatment options, be sure to check out the resource below.

RAD Treatment for Kids

Now that the concepts of healing and treatment are understood, let's move forward with the stages of healing.

7 Stages of Healing from Reactive Attachment Disorder

 1. Safety in the Home with Family

In order for a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder to begin the healing process, she must decide she wants to feel safe in the home with a family.

A family can provide the safest environment imaginable for a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder, but that doesn't mean SHE feels safe there. 

Safety may mean something completely different to the child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder than it does to the caregiver.

Below is a post I wrote when Princess was eight years old. 

It documents the process of Princess showing a desire to be safe in the home with family, and what safety meant to her at the time.

I Just Want to Feel Safe

Having a desire to feel safe does NOT mean that a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder is capable of being safe with others, herself, or things.

The desire to feel safe means that the child or teen's RAD brain doesn't want to keep feeling the same way it did during past trauma.

The body wants to avoid the fight, flight, freeze or fawn response it's so used to.

 

A child or teen's desire to feel safe may be related to a specific incident that has occurred that left an impact.

The desire to feel safe may also come with age and brain development.

There is no specific time that this stage occurs in everyone. 

It is different in every case.

Some children and teens never feel the desire to be safe.

Even when your child or teen has a desire to be safe in the home with family, it is still very important to use safety resources in the home.

Must Have Safety Resources When Parenting a Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder

It will be a very long time before it's possible to remove safety resources.

2. Remorse for Hurting Family Members

Once a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder has made the choice to feel safe, the next stage in healing is feeling remorse for hurting loved ones.

A child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder does not feel empathy or remorse towards others until the brain heals enough to be able to do so,  and the child or teen allows those feelings.

Until remorse is felt, the child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder feels indifferent towards or enjoys the process of hurting others.

The inability to feel remorse or empathy is not the child or teen's fault. It's due to how the brain is currently wired.

In our home we practiced the steps of apologizing to help our adopted daughters with Reactive Attachment Disorder understand the process, until they felt the desire to complete the process.

How to Make an Apology for Kids with Visuals

Please understand that when a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder feels remorse, it does not mean that unsafe behaviors towards others stops. 

The child or teen with RAD may not be at a point where she can stop these behaviors.

Feeling remorse just means that she feels the weight of what she's done.

This weight can lead to self-harming behaviors, so definitely look out for this. 

My Child Wants to Kill Herself! Now What?

If a child or teen is not emotionally ready to feel the weight of their choices, BIG emotions can lead to BIG behaviors.

3. Desire to Repair Family Relationships

The third stage of healing leads to the child or teen showing a desire to repair relationships.

This is HUGE!

It's one thing to feel remorse, but to want to make a sincere amends is a completely different story.

A desire to repair relationships does not mean that the child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder will stop having unsafe behaviors towards others.

The child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder WILL have behaviors, feel remorse, and then want to make things better.

This can be a tricky business.

Family may not be open to repairing relationships.

Too much damage may have already been done.

Family members may not be willing to give a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder countless chances to try again.

Due to the severity of behaviors, this stage of healing may take place outside of the home in a residential or group home placement.

When Do I Consider Residential Treatment for My Child?

Every situation is different. 

In our family, we forgive and continue to nurture loving relationships with safe boundaries.

When repairing relationships is possible, it allows for the child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder to continue with her healing.

We always want to support healing.

 

4. Acceptance of Being a Member of a Family

A child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder must decide to accept being a member of a family in order to continue with healing.

This is no easy task.

It is so much easier for the RAD brain to run away, push away, and act out towards family members who try to get close.

150+ Ways Children and Teens with RAD Push Others Away

Acceptance of being a family member does not mean that there is love, trust, or attachment. 

It doesn't mean that unsafe behaviors stop, though they may lessen in severity or frequency.

Acceptance of being a family member just means that the RAD brain is surrendering to the reality that family relationships exist.

In our family, we like to say this stage has been about our girls accepting that they are "stuck with us forever."

There is no way out of family relationships. 

In order for this stage of healing to occur it takes hard work on the part of the caregiver and the child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder. 

In order to accept being a family member, a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder must feel wanted and loved, no matter the circumstance.

Love and acceptance of the child, does not mean over the top expressions of love or enabling of behavior.

Love and acceptance does includes setting safe boundaries.

Safe boundaries may include placement outside of the home.

When a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder feels that their status as a family member is not based on their behaviors, but based in unconditional love, the door opens for more healing.

Please note that caregivers and other family members can show unconditional love and safe boundaries for years without the child or teen and see no healing in this area.

The decision to accept being a member on the family is the decision of the child or teen with RAD. 

Like every other stage of healing, this stage cannot be forced, only encouraged.

5. Learning to Love and Accept Love from Family

After there is an acceptance of family, next comes learning to love and accept love from family members.

I cannot express how important and incredible this stage of healing is.

The RAD disordered brain has changed enough, through the process of neuroplasticity, to have a desire to attach and form healthy relationships! 

Once again, the decision to love and accept love from family is initiated by the child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder, when the brain is ready.

Learning to love and accepting love from family does not mean that behaviors will stop.

At times they may lessen in frequency and severity, but it's important to understand that the RAD disordered brain is going to push back with each step of the healing process.

Learning to love and accept love is not natural for a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder.

It feels unsafe. 

None of this is the child or teen's fault. 

Unfortunately, this is the reality of Reactive Attachment Disorder.

At the same time, the more practice a child or teen has with learning to love and accepting love from family, the more automatic it will become. 

This process is like learning to play a new piece on the piano. The more one practices, the easier it is for the fingers to know what notes to play and move up and down the keyboard with ease. 

There comes a point when the fingers know where to go without prompting from the sheet music.

Learning to love and accept love may take years, and even decades. It is not something that happens quickly.

Caregivers will notice this is happening when the child or teen with RAD is expressing love and adoration for family members without expecting anything in return.

Please keep in mind a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder may show love differently based on past trauma. 

Be open to different ways of expressing love.

Physical Boundaries and Consent Activities for Kids

In our home, we used the resources above to help everyone in the family understand which ways others preferred to express love. 

They worked very well. We hope they can help you as well.

6. Desire to Change Because of Love

After a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder is able to love and accept love, the desire to change because of love can occur.

This is such a HUGE and INCREDIBLE stage in the healing process to witness and be a part of as a caregiver!

Behaviors consistently lessen in intensity and frequency.

Mind you, they do not disappear completely.

It's important to remember that healing is possible, but a cure does not exist. 

Reactive Attachment Disorder will not completely disappear.

A desire to change because of love leads to so much hard work for the child or teen with RAD. 

When the child or teen decides to put in the effort, the results seem miraculous.

The child or teen recognizes that the RAD disordered brain, without censor and change, can hurt those that the child or teen loves.

When this stage in healing occurs, the child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder no longer wants to hurt those she loves.

7. Convincing One's Self that Change is Worth the Risk of Losing Relationships with People and Being Hurt Again

The desire to no longer hurt loved ones, and convincing one's self that change is worth the risk of losing relationships with people or getting hurt again are two VERY different things.

A child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder chooses not to attach because they believe the relationship will inevitably be lost or that they will be hurt.

To accept that change is worth loving and possibly losing love is an enormous feat and the final stage of the healing process.

Just like all other stages of healing from Reactive Attachment Disorder, the process can't be forced.

The decision to heal must be the choice of the child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Even though so much healing has already occurred, the final stage definitely challenges the RAD brain the most, which can lead to push back.

A caregiver may feel that this phase takes an extra long time because of the push back and the fear of loss or being hurt.

Be patient. 

Conclusion

Healing from trauma takes years, decades, and sometimes an entire lifetime.

In our experience, once a child or teen goes through the seven stages of healing from Reactive Attachment Disorder with family, the seven phases repeat with relationships outside of the family.

A therapist who specialized in attachment disorders once told me that I'd know I was successful as a parent of a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder, when she developed one healthy relationship in her life.

The seven stages of healing from Reactive Attachment Disorder require so much hard work. 

It makes sense that one healthy relationship is considered success.

But, if a child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder can work through all stages of healing with family, they are capable of working through those phases with others as well.

Please be aware that Reactive Attachment Disorder is a spectrum disorder.

Cases range in severity.

There may be some children and teens who are not capable of healing, or may take a lifetime to do so.

In these cases, the lack of capability is not the caregiver's fault.

Success may be setting safe boundaries and everyone being safe.

Please also be aware that healing is extremely difficult and at times impossible when the child or teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder is still experiencing trauma.

In our home, my oldest adopted daughter, Princess, is working on the last stage of healing. 

My younger adopted daughter, Sunshine, has spent several years in and out of residential treatment centers due to safety, and is still learning to love and accept love from family.

Every child and teen with Reactive Attachment Disorder is different.

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like the resources below.

     

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Some children, teens, and adults struggle to attend church meetings for a number of reasons.

Over the years we've created a number of resources to help children during religious services.

We are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Our youngest has a very difficult time attending church.

She requested a visual schedule for sacrament meeting, our main hour of worship each week, to help her understand the order of events.

As I prepared a visual schedule for her, I realized that a detailed social story would also be very beneficial.

Sacrament meeting isn't always the same. 

A social story allows for room to explain differences that may occur each week.

I am so excited to be able to share this FREE Sacrament Meeting Visual Schedule Flip Book and Social Story with you.

All images used are from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints media library, representing members of the church from all over the world.

FREE Sacrament Meeting Visual Schedule Flip Book and Social Story

My main goal in creating a Sacrament Meeting Visual Schedule Flip Book and Social Story was to provide my daughter with a point of reference, related to sacrament meeting events.

She likes to know the beginning, middle, and end of events, especially as she struggles with time.

It can be extremely beneficial to her to understand the order in which things occur.

Understanding the order of activities and events, and what they look like through pictures, helps with her anxiety and transition difficulties.

My daughter is huge fan of social stories because they give her more information about events and provide guidance about how she is to act at various times.

The more she reads them, the more her confidence soars in her ability to remain self-regulated during activities and events.

Our Sacrament Meeting Visual Schedule Flip Book and Social Story aren't just meant to be used once.

They can be used on a daily or weekly basis to prepare for Sunday services.

Sacrament Meeting Visual Schedule Flip Book

I am a HUGE fan of visual schedule flip books as opposed to a visual schedule on a single page, especially if there are multiple parts or steps to activities and events.

I also love that visual schedule flip books provide flexibility if plans change last minute.

Children, adults, and teens can add or take away cards as schedules or events change from one moment to the next.

We have used visual schedule flip books for multiple occasions including holidays and vacations as you can see in the posts below.

FREE Christmas Visual Schedule for Kids

Walt Disney World and Special Needs

The Sacrament Meeting Visual Schedule Flip Book is designed to be used in church on Sundays to match the program set forth.

Cards can be added or removed based on what is happening each Sunday.

Baby blessings and convert confirmations do not occur each week.

The number of speakers varies.

There may be a special musical number instead of an intermediate hymn. 

Then there's Fast Sunday, which is different than other Sundays.

The Sacrament Meeting Visual Schedule Flip Book allows for all of these modifications and changes.

How to Make the Sacrament Meeting Visual Schedule Flip Book

When I create a visual schedule flip book, I want it to be extremely durable and last for as long as I may need it.

I print out pages of the visual schedule on cardstock.

Next I cut out each card.

Then I laminate each card.

Once all laminated cards are cut and facing the same direction, I hole punch each card.

Cards are now ready to be put in order and placed on a ring.

If you are not familiar with the order of events of sacrament meeting refer to the social story included and then check your local ward bulletin.

Extra cards not in use go in a storage bag to be pulled out when needed.

I also keep the visual schedule in a storage bag for extra protection.

The Sacrament Meeting Visual Schedule Flip Book is quiet and helps with reference during the meeting.

Sacrament Meeting Social Story

The Sacrament Meeting Social Story is such a fabulous resource to use over and over again to help children, teens, and adults prepare for Sunday services each week.

It can also be used with family, friends, and investigators who have never attended sacrament meeting before at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Social stories are different than visual schedules, as they provide more details about activities and events, and invite questions and conversation.

The Sacrament Meeting Social Story is particularly helpful in that it explains how Sunday meetings may differ from week to week.

The Sacrament Meeting Social Story provides visuals to match each description, as well as guidance on how to act, what to do, and how to respond to what's going on around you.

How to Use the Sacrament Meeting Social Story

When I use social stories in my home I try to keep them as simple as possible, knowing I may need to print out other copies over time due to wear and tear.

First I print out the social story on plain white paper.

Next I make sure pages are in order.

Then I staple the pages together to form a book.

If I know I will be using the social story for quite some time, I may put pages in sheet protectors and place them in a small three ring binder.

I hope that the FREE Sacrament Meeting Visual Schedule Flip Book and Social Story help you as much as they have helped our family.

Our youngest daughter LOVES these resources and speaks about them fondly. 

They help her be her very best during church services.

Source: The FREE Sacrament Meeting Visual Schedule Flip Book and Social Story are a Subscriber's Only Freebie and located in the Mental Health Printables Library.

For your copy, follow the directions at the bottom of this post.

FREE Primary Visual Schedule

We also have a FREE Primary Visual Schedule available for those who attend The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The visual schedule comes in multiple sizes to best fit the needs of every child in primary. 

True-to-life images are from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' website media library and represent children from all over the world.

This visual was such a blessing to us when our youngest was primary age.

Don't forget your free printable!

Directions on How to Obtain Subscriber Only Freebies

1. Click on the Subscriber's link at the bottom of this post.

2. Subscribe to our free newsletter.

3. Open the thank you message you receive in your e-mail, after subscribing. (Be sure to check your spam folder, as sometimes it ends up there.)

4. Click the confirmation link in the thank you message.

5. Once the confirmation is complete, you will receive another e-mail message with the Subscriber Only Freebies.

6. Click on the link.

7. Select the Minimalism, Montessori, or Mental Health Printables Library.

8. Find the printable pack you are looking for listed in alphabetical order, click on it, and voila!

We hope you enjoy your free printable.

Note: If you are already a newsletter subscriber, open your most recent newsletter. At the bottom you will find a link to the Free Printables Library.

Click HERE to Subscribe to our FREE Newsletter

If you liked this post, you may also enjoy the resources below.

 

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Happy New Year from the Eddy Family!

Happy New Year from the Eddy Family! 

As we say goodbye to 2024, we can't help but reflect on all of the growth and healing that has come through so many experiences this past year.

Jason Eddy

Jason started a job at Food Lion in August and is loving it. 

When at home, Jason loves making delicious meals for the family. This year he’s had a blast experimenting with Asian cuisine. 

At church Jason serves as Young Men’s Advisor to the Priests, spending lots of time with Dinomite, Bulldozer, and friends.

Jason is having "fun" adjusting to the life of a middle aged man spending time in physical therapy for his shoulder and knee, and being diagnosed with sleep apnea.

 

Renae Eddy

Renae continues running her online business, Every Star Is Different, supporting Montessori educators and families with developmental, emotional, and trauma-based disabilities. 

She also continues to homeschool Dinomite, Bulldozer, and Princess. 

In January 2025, Renae is reopening her music studio! 

She is currently accepting students ages 5 and up for piano and voice lessons. 

After surgery on her vocal cords in 2023, followed by a year of vocal rest (no singing and only speaking quietly), Renae's voice has healed. 

The doctors have said she may never have the vocal range she had before, but she can sing again!

The year 2024 has provided many medical answers for Renae. 

Thanks to Dinomite, Renae and her doctors now understands many of her physical struggles (including her vocal cords and chronic inflammation), are a result of Ehler's Danlos Syndrome (a genetic connective tissue disorder).

A colonoscopy and endoscopy showed Renae also has a 4 cm hernia in her diaphragm which is causing severe reflux and breathing issues. 

Inflammation in the gut due to struggles with gluten was also noted.

Biopsies and bloodwork confirmed hemochromatosis (a genetic blood disorder related to iron absorption). This has perplexed doctors as Renae has struggled with chronic anemia for years.

 

Renae now refrains from all gluten and mammal products. She also follows a reflux friendly diet.

Big changes in diet and exercise are making a huge difference for Renae!

She has slimmed down two pant sizes and her hair is starting to grow, which is pretty crazy! Lol.

"Dinomite" Eddy

Dinomite, 17, spent 8 months in physical therapy this year because his joints, particularly his shoulders, kept dislocating. 

A geneticist confirmed that Dinomite meets criteria for Hypermobile Ehler’s Danlos Syndrome (EDS). 

The doctor and Dinomite chose to go with the diagnosis of Benign Hypermobility to avoid future medical and insurance discrimination.

Dinomite still follows all the protocol for EDS which includes following a gluten free, lactose free, low sugar, and no processed meats diet, paired with constant cardio and strength training to keep his body together.

Despite hypermobility challenges, Dinomite became lifeguard and CPR certified this summer. 

He participates on swim team, coming home with 1^st, 2^nd, and 3^rd place ribbons from swim meets. 

Dinomite helps coach both middle school and elementary school swim teams. 

His goal for 2025 is to become a certified scuba diver and study photography, to work towards his career choice of becoming an underwater film and photographer (think Shark Week). 

At church, Dinomite serves as Priest Quorum’s 1^st Assistant. 

Dinomite also attends early morning seminary. 

When he has down time, Dinomite loves following and watching his favorite sports teams.

 

"Bulldozer" Eddy

Bulldozer, 16, decided to join the Blue Forest Theater Academy (BFTA), and was cast in his first musical Hadestown this fall. 

Theater matches well with Bulldozer’s passion for cinema. 

He loves acting, singing, and dancing, and has found his tribe.

In 2025 Bulldozer plans to take voice lessons, dance lessons, and participate in all the BFTA shows. 

When not at theater rehearsal, Bulldozer enjoys spending time with his girlfriend, including being her date to homecoming and all other occasions. 

Bulldozer attends early morning seminary on weekdays. 

He also loves following and watching sports with his brother.

 

"Princess" Eddy

Princess, 15, continues to be very passionate about writing and drawing. 

She also enjoys puzzles, LEGO, and all things Marvel. 

Princess has decided she wants to become a surgeon and is focusing on studying all she can to prepare for the future. 

This year has been a huge year for Princess socially. 

She attends early morning seminary and other church activities, is developing many friendships, and has been asked out on her first date.

 

"Sunshine" Eddy

Sunshine, 13, continues to reside in her fifth residential placement due to severe mental illness that jeopardizes the safety of our family. 

We are thankful for a year of consistency in treatment and the healing it has provided for our family.

 Our prayer is that it is possible for Sunshine to heal and someday be safe with her family again. 

Until then, we continue to support her in her treatment. 

Our favorite interactions with Sunshine have been weekly letters we write back and forth to each other with the help of her therapist as well as monthly visits and passes.

Sunshine passions include Hello Kitty and Friends, mermaids, unicorns and other mythical creatures, as well as Burger King.

The highlight of the year for our family was our Christmas vacation to Washington D.C. 

We were able to watch NFL and NHL games, visit museums, take tours of the White House and Capital Building, and meet with our congressman and his staff.

 

Here’s to a Happy New Year in 2025!

Love,

The Eddy Family

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