This has been quite challenging as Sunshine has a very low frustration tolerance. When she becomes upset, aggression is her go to coping mechanism, despite how inappropriate and harmful it may be.
When we're able to observe Sunshine is becoming upset, we immediately use the following four prompts to encourage mindfulness. These work extremely well when she is stable. They have saved us from many unnecessary behavior issues.
These four steps were something that I came up with in the moment, trying to calm Sunshine several months back. She responded so well that we continued to use them.
Though I have not tested these prompts on other children besides my own, I can only guess that they can promote mindfulness in all children.
Directions on How to Use the Four Prompts to Encourage Mindfulness with Children
Stop
When Sunshine becomes agitated she immediately starts moving. Most often this can result in a lack of safety awareness followed by someone getting hurt. As soon as I see Sunshine reaching this point, my immediate response is,
"STOP!"
It's short and simple, and loud enough so she can hear me clearly. It is accompanied by a hand signal that she knows means stop.
Not only does Sunshine receive an auditory prompt, but also a visual one.
When she is stable, Sunshine is very quick to make her body still. At times she even uses her hand to make the "stop" motion also.
Breathe
Once Sunshine is still, I prompt her to breathe. I do this by using the one word command. When she's ready we breathe in slowly together and then exhale slowly.
If Sunshine is able to choose which breathing exercise she would prefer in the moment, she may do that as well. Sunshine LOVES the book Breathe Like a Bear and often requests a calming breathing exercise from this book.
We try to make the exercise as fun as possible, because it's all about calming and bringing her back to the present. The book definitely enhances the experience.
After I have observed that Sunshine has inhaled and exhaled slowly at least once, or however many times she needs, we move on to the next step.
Look
The next step is to help Sunshine become present. I do this by prompting her to look at me.
Now this does not mean that I expect full eye contact. What it does mean is that her body and eyes are facing my direction and I know she's not distracted by something else.
As I prompt her using the word look, I point at myself. Once again this provides both auditory and visual prompts which are extremely important. Just one of those prompts often isn't enough.
Listen
It's only after Sunshine has followed the commands to stop, breathe and look, that I point to my ear and give the last command to listen. Most often Sunshine shows me she is ready for this next step by pointing to her ear too.
It's at this point that I can communicate with her, knowing she's looking for understanding and has a sincere desire to follow directions and be her best self.
Nine times out of ten this method helps Sunshine calm down and become mindful of herself and others, as well as her surroundings, when she is stable.
Why the Four Prompts of Mindfulness Work
I love this method because it's simple and direct. Too many words can cause confusion and an increase in negative behaviors.
I also love the prompts because they help Sunshine remain in control. There are no power struggles over using the word no, taking things away, touching her or giving negative consequences.
The main goal is to bring Sunshine back to the present and calmly speak to her to help her better understand a situation before it gets out of hand.
By the time the four prompts are completed both parties are calm and rational, despite any negative emotions and energy that might have been there before.
Another aspect of the four prompts I really like is that I know very quickly if they're going to work, or if Sunshine is past the point of calming down.
The entire process takes less than a minute to complete. If things go well I can enjoy a fabulous conversation where we both can express emotions and better understand what's going on.
When I notice she's unable to follow the prompts I can immediately move forward with making sure everyone stays safe.
When I notice she's unable to follow the prompts I can immediately move forward with making sure everyone stays safe.
It has been amazing to see how these four prompts have helped Sunshine remain calm in so many difficult situations. She immediately recognizes the first prompt and knows exactly what to do.
4 Prompts to Encourage Mindfulness in Children Visuals
We are excited to announce that we now have visual cards to use while practicing the 4 Prompts to Encourage Mindfulness in Children.
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